Ask Your Mom If My Beard Tickles Short-Sleeve T-Shirt


Fitted, comfortable, and soft – this t-shirt was made just for you. And it can withstand several wash-cycles while maintaining its shape, so it’s great for everyday wear!

• 100% fine jersey cotton (Heather colors contain polyester)
• Fabric weight: 4.3 oz (146 g/m2)
• Shoulder-to-shoulder taping
• Double stitched
• Made in the USA

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So first off I should state that my ‘friends’ mom was one of those cool moms that let us drink and party at her house whenever we wanted. She was single and had a few guys come over every once in a while. I think she met them off dating websites because I have never seen these dudes before. It was never a big deal, we ended up drinking and smoking with them. Some of them were pretty cool.

Fast forward a little bit. My buddy, who we’ll call Drew, has one of those relationships with me where he’s friendly to my face but does anything to ruin my image behind my back. Numerous times I heard from mutual friends that he bad-mouthed me when I wasn’t around. It was lulzy to me in all honesty. I never really cared because his house was the safe spot to party whenever.

I ended up getting a really hot girlfriend in high school and Drew fell in love with her more than I did. I dumped her one time and she ended up dating him to get revenge. As soon as I wanted to date her again she dumped him immediately (they dated like 2 weeks). I actually got a BJ in his room and came on her face a few days after they broke up.

Anyway, as for me and he continued to date, Drew would use her picture as his MSN display avatar. For those of you that used MSN Messenger, they allowed you to use custom pics from your computer as your display. This made me lol because he would legitimately try to carry on conversations with me while his display picture was of my girlfriend in a bikini and shit. Really lulzy guy. Meanwhile, he’s still bad mouthing me and trying to spread rumors that I’m a drug dealer, etc.

One night we had a HUGE party at his house. Tons of alcohol and people, just overall good time. I was drunk and noticed his mom was on the computer upstairs. It was just me and her and I was looking over her shoulder talking to her. She pulls up a folder with nude pics of her in it and starts showing them to me. She was wearing like silk nightgowns and sh*t. Just rifling through these nudes and being dead quiet. I was on the verge of being sh*t faced so I was like “damn you have big tits” “your ass is so nice” blah blah blah. She just kept going through them and laughed here and there.

Later on that night at like 3 or 4 in the morning everyone is passed out except me. The only place left to sleep was on this tiny little love sofa and it was cold as fuck in the house. I was starting to shiver it was so cold so I went to the closet to get a blanket to cover up with. The closet was right next to the door to his mom’s bedroom. I was trying to be as quiet as I could but I was still pretty buzzed and kept bumping into sh*t.

I must have woken her up because within a few seconds she was standing at her door. “Sorry, I was just trying to get a blanket. It’s freezing out here!” The next words she spoke will forever be burned into my mind. “You can sleep in here if you want.” As I said, I was still somewhat buzzed and had liquid courage and I said “sure.”

Now I thought she meant like on the floor or something initially. But there was just enough light from her huge digital clock to make out the silhouette of her pulling back to covers signaling for me to get in. I climb in bed and just lay there with my eyes wide open. There’s absolutely no way I can sleep now. Do I make a move? Is she coming on to me? Do I just roll over and try to fall asleep? What if someone walks in here tomorrow morning and sees me laying in bed with Drew’s mom?

All of those thoughts immediately vanished when I felt her hands on my lower stomach. Her hands were so warm and had this weird nurturing vibe that, till this day, I’ve never been able to replicate with any other girl. She said, “take your shirt off, you’re gonna get hot under the covers.”

I feel her lips kissing down my stomach and start to take my pants off. She starts kissing on my pubic bone area and I can feel those nurturing hands caress and rub my balls. I’m hard as a fuckin’ diamond at this point. Then I feel that warm breath on my cock that you feel right before a girl is about to take your dick into her mouth. She deep throats me all the way to the balls and I can’t help but say “holy fuck!”

She ended up blowing me for what seemed like ages. I could feel my body start to tighten like I wanted to cum. So then I stopped her and told her to take off the shorts she was wearing. She had the perfect milf body. Thick and phat but in all the right places. She was tan and her pussy was perfectly shaved. I asked her if I needed a condom (mind you, I had never had unprotected sex before) and she said no. As soon as I felt that pussy raw for the first time, I knew I wasn’t going to last long. I fucked her as best as myself would allow me. I blew my load inside of her within 10 minutes. She came, or at least she faked it, relatively quickly. She grabbed my hand and made me squeeze her huge tits while she said: “Give it to me, I haven’t had it in so long!”

I can only assume that she came because she hadn’t had sex in a long time. After we were done we talked and smoked a cigarette together in the dark and whispered back and forth as to not wake anyone up. I said, “I’d better go lay back down before anyone wakes up and catches me in here.” She replied with “haha okay, thank you! Hopefully, you’re all warmed up now!”

I ended up having sex with her multiple times a week over from when I was 18. She wasn’t the hottest woman on the planet but she is largely responsible for helping me become a man. I still daydream about f*cking her again. Unfortunately, I moved and haven’t seen her since.

You don’t have to believe this story, I just had free time and wanted to share with you a story from my past. I know this sexual encounter with my friend’s mom was illegal but I cherish every hookup I had with her. As for my friend Drew, he still hates me to this day and frequently tries to start rumors on Facebook about me and spread it to my family. I don’t feel guilty about banging his mom because he was such a prick to me and I was nice to him.

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Size Chart

Chest (inches) 38-40 42-44 46-48 48-50 50-52
Waist (inches) 32-33 33-34 36-38 40-42 44-48

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